You Don’t Give A Shit About Flat Abs, I’ll Prove It!
From here on out, no social outings that involve food (and, sweetums, that’s pretty much all of ’em). Ught-uh, I don’t want to hear any back-talking. You know abs are made in the kitchen, right? That means no potlucks or backyard BBQs with friends. In fact, go ahead and text your peeps right now to let them know you can’t make trivia night Tuesdays or birthday parties anymore—indefinitely. Going forward, you’ll be spending a lot of time alone.
You said your favorite foods are pizza and ice cream? Well, they’re off limits now. It’s steamed broccoli and boiled chicken for you. For-ev-er! (Sandlot anyone? Bueller? Bueller?)
Thanksgiving dinner? Haha, you’re funny. You can forget about it. Oh, alright, because I’m such a nice person you can go this one time but you can’t eat anything. Take your broccoli and chicken in a Tupperware container and be thankful for that.
Side effects may include: boredom, loneliness, unhappiness, food obsession, disordered eating, exercise addiction, anxiety, self-loathing, body-hatred, hangriness, binge eating, amenorrhea, low sex-drive, crankiness, chronic fatigue and digestion problems.
“Hold the phone!”, you yell. “Put away your damn wand, take your flat abs and get the hell away from me! Good day and good riddance! And *cough* don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out *cough*.”
I knew it! You don’t really give a shit about flat abs. Not if they aren’t the magic answer to all your problems and not if they come at the cost of your whole-istic (emotional, mental, relational, spiritual and physical) health and well-being and all of the things you truly value in this life like:
So, if in your pursuit of flat abs or the “perfect body”, you’re missing out on life, love and happiness, and sacrificing your mental, emotional, relational (and even physical) health, then it’s not worth it.
Forget about the six pack/flat abs and start focusing on and pursuing all those things, people, experiences, goals and dreams in life that truly matter to you. They’ve got nothing to do with the definition of your abs.
To putting the 'life' back into your healthy lifestyle!